Sometimes when I meet new people, they tell me that they admire some of the brave things I’ve done. This is strange to me because I have never considered myself to be a particularly brave person. I started to think about how the other person might be viewing my life. I’ve moved countries a few times and in doing so have taken some big risks but I never thought that I was very brave.
I do often feel afraid and have to push myself to do these things! I thought about it more and realised that those fears I have are really only known to me, or someone very close to me. Those fears would not be seen by the new people I meet. I started thinking about the people that I admire, and how they seem so very brave to me. It was then that I realised, I don’t see their everyday fears or worries, I don’t know these people well enough … so there it was, crystal clear, actually, I am brave, just like those people I admire!
This little revelation suddenly helped make many other things clearer to me too and I hope that what I share in this post will ring some bells for you too!
I’m sure you’ve heard this many times but I believe it’s the most important key to your own success. I don’t mean love yourself in an arrogant way either! Just that you should love the person you are, everything about you, from the way you look to the way you think. There’s only one you and you are special. That’s the first important rule.
Now, I know that sometimes this is more difficult than it sounds. There are times when we feel that we don’t measure up, we’re not making enough money, not looking attractive enough, or not successful enough, whatever it is, you need to stop comparing yourself to others. You are not like them. You don’t want to be like them. You are you!
I thought back to my revelation about how people view me and my life. Another thing occurred to me, when I look in the mirror first thing in the morning I study my imperfections, the few laughter lines I have around my eyes, the wrinkles developing on my forehead, my slightly frizzy hair! These things are normal, we all get older and we all wake up probably not looking our best! However, the study of those imperfections is wrong. The problem is, that in this society we rarely see the imperfections of others. We are surrounded by the airbrushed images of celebrities looking perfect at all times or even our friends posting their gorgeous pictures on facebook and we then feel insecure because of what we see in the mirror.
But, you see, this is where my revelation is again so important! People don’t see my imperfections the same way that I do! People see me after I’ve completed my beauty routine, mascara, eyeliner, lip gloss and straightened hair! They see my facebook or instagram pictures, which of course, are the ones I choose because I like how I look in them, so they see the “perfect me” if you see what I mean, just as I see the “perfect them”.
Suddenly, I start to feel guilty for ever comparing myself to others …
This quote should be your mantra everyday:
Once you start realising all these things, the next steps just get easier and easier.
Usually, the only person holding you back is yourself. Sometimes, when we are not getting what we want, we blame others around us or we blame a situation we are in and this is wrong. What you want to happen will happen. If you want to continue living a life where you blame others for your lack of achievement you will never go further.
So, what’s the answer? You need to take a step back, you need to ask yourself if you are happy and if the answer is no, you need to think about how you can change that to a yes. Don’t ask others how that can happen and don’t rely on others to make it happen.
As the great Mahatma Gandhi said:
Once you’ve identified the things you want to change, you need to make sure they happen!
Set your goals and write them down!
A few years ago, there were a some things I decided I wanted to change in my life and so I started to set goals one by one.
One was to give up smoking, after that to improve my fitness level.
Another was to move my career forward as I had got a little bit stuck in my job.
And another, to start believing in myself.
Giving up smoking was difficult, getting fitter is still ongoing. Progressing my career was probably the easiest. And the most difficult … believing in myself!
I have had to tell myself every day for as long as I can remember now that I can achieve whatever I set my mind to. I must remind myself of this often to ensure that I continue to believe in myself. I have stopped relying on others quite so much and I have started to realise that I can make things happen for myself!
I now use these 10 ways to ensure I reach my goals and maybe they can help you too:
1. Believe in yourself.
2. Never give up.
3. Surround yourself with positive people.
5. Eat well.
6. Keep your body healthy.
7. Laugh a lot.
8. Set clear goals.
9. Make changes.
10. Love yourself.
Most of these things you already know but it’s surprising how many people forget to do them. It’s so important to keep our mind and body healthy, if they’re not, how can you expect to perform well at anything? It’s also important to keep learning, read books written by people you admire and always surround yourself with people who share your visions and believe in you. If you do all these things every day I am sure you will achieve your dreams. I’ve set myself so many goals and by writing them down and believing in myself I am seeing so many great results! This year I have already started so many new things, I have a job I enjoy and I’ve even started my own website travel guide, Eat Stay Love Bulgaria which is something I’d always dreamed of doing. Rather than thinking it’s not possible or I don’t have the skills or I’m too busy, I am just getting on with it. Why? Because, actually, I can!